Slap Happy

Camille wears her black tank top. It contrasts with her white skin and her boobs push out, asking for air. I'd love to work on them for her.

I get to the bar and it's all men. She gives me a glass of wine and down the bar some 40-something dude pukes all over the bar and the floor.

I wonder if it's a sign. His friend cleans up the puke as Camille comes near me, trying not to let it become contagious. Her fingers are to her lips. I'd go into the bathroom with her and hold her blonde hair out of the toilet if she needed to heave. I think other thoughts as well.

I left because the puke vibe was a buzz kill and I popped down to a hipper bar a few blocks away.

They were playing good music and I sat in the corner and started talking to a bookish type girl who slightly reminded me of Miranda July. Kathleen told me how she doesn't talk to her parents anymore since her dad is dead drunk all the time and she can't handle it. She got beat up in high school.

I tell her about my religious upbringing. I feel like we're connecting.

I'm going outside to have a cigarette, I say and she follows me. We smoke and she tells me how a guy at her work was fired for having tuberculosis and that she and her co-workers have had to undergo testing for it.

Can tuberculosis be transfered by kissing, I ask.

Right after she says 'no', I plant my lips on hers and we kiss. Then she slaps me.

What the hell was that? I said and she had no answer.

You kissed back, I said and she continued talking about another DJ night where I should show up at. A guy a few feet away bums a cigarette off me and I take that as my chance to get away from slap happy.

I go back to where Camille is working and the place is jumping. I tell some of the people I know about getting slapped.

I see Kathleen a few days later with a friend of mine from the music biz. I thought there would be weirdness if I saw her again, but I thought it was funny, so I told her friend about our kissing then her whacking me in the face.

She's into slapping, he says.

I wasn't offended, if I really was offended I would've kicked you in the balls, she says.

They invite me to drink at another bar, but I have a band to see down the road so I decline.