Sunday, July 20, 2008

Cry Misty For Me

cute. skinny. dark black hair.

"are you drinking rum and coke," was my brilliant ice breaker and after that we were talking about music and relationships.

her boyfriend just told her that he had a threesome and she needed to move. she moved to another part of town that she doesn't really like.

her dad has cancer and she's been helping him.

i felt connection. connection to the tragedy. connection to the fucked up way some humans have no compassion for heartbreak, how they'll stick their arms right up the anal cavity and just squeeze the heart until it bursts.

i liked her.

then she said, she doesn't believe in love, she believes we settle.

that's where she lost me. i believe in love. i don't want anyone to settle for me, i want someone to love me like i love them.

after being in a long marriage, i understand marriage involves falling in and out of love with the person and the commitment keeps it together as well as the friendship. but what the hell do i know, i thought things were fine with my ex and me until she started drinking a lot more than usual and her personality completely changed and the next thing i know she's been tappin' other penis.

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had dinner alone at a local restaurant. sat next to a girl named janet who was kind of cute and talked her up for a while. i wasn't in the mood to ask her on a date or get her phone number. i only felt like spreading my wings without having expectations in my head.

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went to a club and the doorman waved me through. i didn't know him, but he seemed to know me. there was one empty stool and an older man, (older than me), was talking up a young lady (23 i found out later). I sat between them and tried to steer clear of getting in the way, just claim a seat before the night got crowded.

i looked across the bar and it was three people deep. a friend of mine was tending and threw a kettle/tonic to me. free entry, free first drink, free from a relationship that included fundamentalist religion forced down my throat before she got so frustrated she just cheated on me and lied about it. love, love, love christianity as defined by religious zealots. go fuck a kid.

the girl said we met before, and my face memory really sucks and we talked for a while and peter, the older guy, bought us all, her girlfriend, her and me a round of drinks.

turning out to be a great night.

kept hanging with the 23 year old lisa when peter scammed on her friend who said she was lesbian...later turned out she was bi-sexual, so she was just trying to lose him.

he turned out to be a decent guy. we talked a bit and he used to be a junkie and quit heroin years ago. he kept putting hundreds on the bar and walking away when $80 worth of change was sitting there. i pulled him back when he walked away, 'keep an eye on your change', i said and felt protective of him. he lives in the 'hood, so i'll see him again.

i did the, 'let's go outside and smoke' move to lisa, hoping for a kiss, but when we got outside and the girl i have a crush on who is a total train wreck and keeps telling me to shave my 'stache gives me an immediate hug and shows me attention and lisa walks away. a few more people approached me, but i saw the deal break w/ lisa. which is good b/c she's a bit too young for me, cute as hell, but i'll keep seeing her around and would rather not have any weirdness.

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