She Left Me

After months of despair, where I couldn't even fathom having an erection much less masturbating....after wishing there was a gun in the house to make the heartache go away with a bullet....after drinking myself into oblivion over and over, after 13 years of monogamy with one woman who had been cheating on me I was thrust into the world of dating.

The last time I dated Kurt Cobain was still alive. The last time I dated I weighed 160 and had long hair. The last time I dated I was a fundamentalist Christian and didn't have sex with a woman until I was married.

I never left the music scene, but over the last 13 years there was a no fly zone sign on my heart. When women showed interest I'd casually tell them my wife has a pair of shoes exactly like that, "where did you get them".

Now the barrier is dropped and a new sign has been erected. Available. Single. The fine print said, Desperate.

Beyond the dark days of depression and after processing what was going on, but still in the middle of the divorce, I grabbed a Playboy to see if anything would move down there. I finished masturbating and was sure all my parts fully functioned.

1:45am, I was at a local bar and sat next to a girl from New York. She was in a similar profession and we discussed books. At 2:15am we were naked. It started with a kiss, then she said, "If we're going to do anything we have to do it fast before Tim comes home."

She was staying one night with a friend of a friend and wasn't sure how cool it would be to have two strangers fucking in his house.

We ripped our clothes off and I was at full attention.

I remembered the scene in Trainspotting when Atomic by Blondie was playing and everyone was jumping out of their clothes.

Condom. Condom, was what I kept saying out loud to remind myself of the thing I never thought I'd have to think about in a monogamous, sexually stagnant relationship.

Michelle had a cute birthmark on her right butt cheek and the ass of a pin up model from 1950, back when women were properly curved.

She sucked on my penis and I didn't know the STD probability of that.

Condom. But I really said, "I want to be inside Michelle." She gave me the condom and I whipped it on after a very scary moment of hoping I'd know how to put one on. She jumped on me and started writhing.

She hopped off and for a moment we were in spooning position and I put my finger on her wet vagina.

"I'm pierced," she giggled.

I noticed.

"Do me from behind," she said and she guided it in and I pumped and pumped. She flipped around and we did it missionary.

I said "Oh Michelle," and prayed for a split second her name was Michelle. She moaned and moaned and I pumped and pumped.

"Fuck me, fuck me," she said.

She flipped her legs up and her shins were against my shoulders and I kept pounding.

"Cum in me," she said and I gyrated but couldn't cum. It was obvious she was done, and I couldn't stop thinking that she was the second girl I've ever put my dick in. How I was a 38 year old man and only had sex with two people in my life. Not good thoughts when I should've been focusing on her bouncing freckled breasts.

"It's okay," I said. We laid together naked for a minute when the garage door opened below and we jumped up and put our clothes on as fast as we took them off.

"Your underwear," she pointed to the floor. I forgot to take the condom off, my dick was still hard and my underwear were in my pocket when Tim came upstairs and she and I went outside on the steps.

Michelle was in her summer dress and I sat a few stairs below her, taking in her legs, looking up her dress, knowing that underneath her panties was a pussy that I just explored. I couldn't cum, but I couldn't soften either.

She kept clawing at me and giving me sexy eyes.

Tim invited us to his back patio and wanted to get stoned. I just wanted to fuck her again. Every time he walked back into the house to get a pipe or a beer Michelle grabbed my penis, keeping it hard and throbbing.

He left us alone after an hour and we talked.

I told her she was the second girl I had ever had sex with and that I knew it was a one night stand, but I wanted her to know how important that moment would be for the rest of my life. I felt like crying. We kissed and kissed more and I felt her over her clothes.

I bopped down Tim's stairs in triumph.

I'M BACK!

The stench of my lying, cheating ex-wife was off my mouth and my feet and my loins.

When I got home, the condom wasn't in my pants. I prayed it slipped out as I walked home. I emailed Michelle and she told me it was on the front steps. That's what I get for bopping down the stairs....she said Tim left early in the morning for work, so he definitely saw it, but since it was technically outside his residence and there was no glob of cum in it, we're in the clear.